Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Sexaholics Anonymous


I sleep with so many women, my old nickname around the tribal lands was Dong Ballerson the Humidifier (for women's reactions when the see me, gets humid in a room pretty quick when i bust in with my mesh tank and checkerboard spandex... scientists actually blame El Nino on the years that i would show up to Lilith Fair. Not only do i convert all those lizzys, but all of the moisture produced from that many broads sends mother earth's trade winds and currents into a frenzy). I get alot. So what is this post getting at? I am merely stating that which is know, and my sensai, Mr. Jiu, has told me before, "I bet you can't stay quiet for 5 minutes... ready, begin." This lesson is one which took me a long time to understand. I can never stay quiet, for my heart will always beat, my lungs will always enhale, and my mind will always wander. It is perspective which determines things like time, noise, taste, smell, etc. But only one thing on this earth is for certain, perspective has no effect upon it. Everyone knows it to be true, and if it is true in all minds, it cannot be disproved. I do get alot of chicks... I pick them up constantly, Wendy's, 7-11, across the street from my Dojo at the greyhound station. we all know this to be true, and i got the video tapes to prove it.
The only reason I posted this today is because i was roller blading this morning in, you guessed it, my Chaka Kahn 1983 world tour t-shirt with the nipples cut out (it was cool for like 3 days back in '83... you doubt me?) and my son's (who died in a oil company cover-up, read above and below) papa smurf underwear to honor him because i miss that little bugger.... give me a moment... ok, im alright. let's just say they don't fit really well, but i dont do it for a fashion statement. i rock Papa S to honor my boy! god bless him and america at the same time. anyway, some dude drove by, threw a poppyseed muffin at me and called me a derogitory homosexual name, and it hurt. so i guess im just trying to prove a point about me and the babes... do i sound insecure? takes one to know one...

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